I guess you could say I have commitment issues when it comes to blogs, and despite my various attempts, most end up collecting metaphorical dust. But more than that, is the issue that I think I’ve always gotten a little too caught up in what I’m willing to say – or rather, unwilling to say. I’ve never stopped writing. My hand uses a pen to run a race in order to keep up with my mind, and I think if I set the pen down for too long, I’d ruin my chances of ever being able to stay caught up with who I am. But there’s always been lines for me – lines between what I write and what I am willing to share – and for good reason. That being said, I think for a long time I’ve been standing a bit farther back than I should have been, and perhaps this is me creeping up to the line.
I suppose this is a lot about being honest with myself. Learning that saying “nothing” when somebody asks you what you’re thinking about, is a lie we too often make – a lie we can’t afford to make. Because we really don’t have all that much time, and with the time we do have the least we can do is be honest about everything. So as an apology for all the times I pretended my mind was blank, here are all the millions of things that it is so often filled with. Because the fact of the matter remains, I know myself all too well, and sometimes, not at all – which basically makes one of the greatest things about me, also my greatest flaw. And trust me – that’s a complicated relationship to have with yourself.
The other day, I bought an expensive umbrella because I figured I’d be more inclined to not forget about it. We’ll say that this blog, is a lot like my new umbrella, and the goal is that the time and effort that went into crafting this, will lead me to be more devoted to keeping it up to date. And after spending hours transferring over different posts from my previous blog, this entry is the division between everything I once said, and all that I am about to say. So hopefully, you’ll stay tuned.
With much love,