Sensitivity and carrying many things at once.

I have been known to be slightly over-sensitive
To feel everything –
A little bit too much
To hold on to things –
That are better off left alone.

And sometimes –
It has been very hard to accept
That this is the way I am
When this is not always
The way I wanted to be.

I guess I have never learned
How to clear the storage that collects
In my mind
So instead, I have learned to carry its weight.

And I would not advocate –
For this
For carrying yesterday’s and two years ago
Somewhere in your head.

Because it does –
Get heavy
And it does get hard –
When you don’t know where to put it down.

But I have built myself
Off of shaking hands and
Mismatched memories that I did not put down
And I am liking the shape it has given me.

Because I learned how to cry
From a young age
And that sometimes it was unwelcome
But many times it was relief.

And you may see the world in colours
But I see it in feelings
And when I try to understand someone
I understand them in emotions.

I have learned that sometimes
I am ‘too much’
For other people
And for myself.

But I am thankful
For the way I have learned to understand people
For the way I have learned to look at the world
And for the way I have learned to look at myself.

(It has sure taken some time…)

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