“Hahaha let’s end with
Ogi I love you and all your thinks
The underthinks envy you”
-thank you for saying the right things in your own way.
I am excellent
At taking healthy foods
And making them unhealthy
Just like I am far too good
At taking simple things
And making them complicated
Because nothing is two-dimensional
When you’re able to pick up words
And feel their shape in your hands
We all overthink though
Because we worry that we give out words
And they aren’t taken in the same way
And misunderstandings lead
To the majority of our problems anyway
So I guess we have a right to worry
Sometimes it’s hard
To let the simple things
When you can feel the threat
Of their edges
And the possibilities that are endless
And I worry I spend too much time
Biting my tongue
Incase my words come out wrong
Because what if they don’t want to be heard
In the first place?
Because being unapologetic is hard
When apologies have a time and place
And sometimes the lines become blurred
When you’re caught up in your own head
I said I take things too personally
And I watched you cringe
Before I could finish my sentence
As if somehow I had said something out loud
And I was no longer the same person I was
Five minutes ago
And this is why I sometimes keep my mouth closed
Because it will be hard for you to understand
And you will only hear
The first half of everything I say.
You never hear yourself in the moment, do you? And sometimes you walk away from a conversation and you try to remember what your voice sounded like – were you stuttering?
I’ve gotten good at keeping eye contact – except sometimes I wonder what it means, when you can barely look at me when I’m talking.
I want to tell you everything, I think.
I wish I had told you nothing, I think.