Out of line.

Some nights, I cry for two hours straight. I feel as though the weight of everything is pressing down on me and if I’m going to keep holding it up I need to let something out. Some days, I wake up with puffy eyes and I throw on a hat and go for a run and listen to the sound of myself breathing. I come home and put on great music and allow myself to feel like I’ve settled last nights problems for a moment or two. I read a long list of quotes and I imagine my life through the lens that they provide and things begin to feel a bit smaller, a bit more manageable.

Sometimes, I feel like I am just out of line. As though I’m clapping off beat, as though my foot steps don’t match up with everybody else around me, and I get scared that I have created a habit of leaving for better things, but leaving in the middle of everything else. I get scared that while there is nothing wrong with walking at a different pace, I might get tired of feeling like I am walking alone.

One thought on “Out of line.

  1. What is a Mama’s heart supposed to do with this raw, bleeding heart of her daughter?
    Love her, listen, pray…
    I love you so much my girl…

    Like

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