I can’t pinpoint where I fell in love with him. Maybe it was in that parking lot when it was raining. Maybe it was in places I was too preoccupied to notice. But I lost him in pieces, everywhere. I lost him between the distance that one summer, I lost him on the sidewalks I walked daily to classes, I lost him in hallways and houses and texts that were never sent or ones that were sent far too much. I lost him to fear, which ricocheted off the nearest buildings. I lost him to the space between my feelings and his, the void larger than the distance between us on campus after he left. I lost him to her.
And I never seemed to be able to get him back.