I’m not always good at filling the pages of my journal – I prefer to leave my thoughts scattered on scrap paper, in the notes section of my phone, and the notes section of my computer that slowly take over my screen saver. I found one the other day, written presumably sometime just after my cousin’s wedding in early July but that had never made it to the pages of my blog, and I think it’s time it did.

…

I love weddings. I really – really do.

And I know that these days a lot of people don’t. Or a lot of people aren’t sure if they do. They’re against the material aspect of them – or they question marriage as an institution – or the wedding itself, or they might just not care about them, and so on. I get it, and that’s fine. But I still love weddings. 

I love weddings because they’re a celebration – they’re a big party. They say, come and celebrate how much we love each other with us. And I love that. 

One day, I want the kind of love that makes me want to invite other people to see it. I want the kind of love where I can stand up in front of a crowd of people, in front of friends and family and God and say, I want to spend the rest of my life with this person – and I hope you all hold me to it. 

Because marriage isn’t easy. We all know that – the married and the unmarried – it’s no secret. And one day for those of us who haven’t already, we’ll learn it first hand. 

Planning a wedding isn’t easy either. And I suppose if you get lost in the excitement of the wedding and start to believe that the centre pieces require more beauty than the marriage that follows the celebration, things could become a problem. But I like to think that weddings are beautiful and everything that comes afterwards is even more beautiful just as it can also be hard, so before it gets hard and more beautiful, why not have a party to celebrate all that has been and all that is to come. 

I love marriage too. I love the promise, the commitment. I love the strength it takes, the courage, and all of the love. I love the decision. Because one of the best things I ever read said something about the fact that relationships are decisions – they are more than simply feelings, which means that they are meant to be stronger than the inherent ability for our feelings to come and go as they please. 

The other day my cousin got married. My beautiful, creative, talented cousin, got married to a man we’ve considered family for quite some time now. 

And it was wonderful. 

My cousin is a singer and so is her husband – they’re naturally born musicians and they’re great at what they do. For years I’ve heard them sing at church and I have always been in awe. But on their wedding day… On their wedding day they led worship songs at the front of the church, her in a dazzling white wedding gown, and him in his classy maroon suit, and that – that was mesmerizing. 

They love each other and they love God, and they stood at the front of a large room filled with friends and family and they confessed this love to all of us. 

And I love every single thing about that.